Can you believe that it is December already? It feels like only yesterday that I was bringing in the new year with sparklers and then a disney marathon in bed. Now i'm wrapping presents and trying to keep the cat from destroying the christmas tree ornaments. I thought that I would grab myself a nice cup of cocoa and sit down to have a bit of a chat and tell you guys where I've been and my goals for 2018.

A little while ago I wrote a post here talking about my health anxiety. This is something that I have had on and off since I was a child, but I've really struggled with it this past year. I went through some stuff with my health that lead to a lot of doctors visits, tests and worry. Although I am now on the mend, and a lot of my problems have been prolonged thanks to stress.. one big problem for me is separating reality from the crazy scenario's my brain makes up. A very big thing I've struggled with is symptom manifesting, or 'cyberchondria' - it's when you read about symptoms of a major disease or illness and then start to experience those symptoms. After I got a little sick, which turned out to be hormone imbalanced and MAJOR stressing, I developed some little symptoms that would go haywire whenever I focused too much on them. When my iron levels dropped really low and I got very weak and shakey from it, I thought that there was no possible way iron could be causing such awful symptoms, so I took to google, and little ol' me has had a very big problem ever since. Dr. Doctor is not a real doctor, and one of the things about google is that it will give you the most popular result of a search. Whenever people google their symptoms they are looking for reassurance, and most of the time we do that by looking up the big scary diseases and comparing the symptoms, and it is because of this that google now gives you the very big, scary answers first. If you look up 'headache', you will probably get a whole page of 'when headache's are dangerous' and 'headache and brain tumor', instead of very common reasons like dehydration or stress. Anybody who has suffered from anxiety knows that it already comes with it's own goody bag of symptoms, but once you start reading about illnesses and diseases we start to feel those symptoms too. I know that my symptoms are from stress, anxiety and a few other little problems that are easily fixable, but when we read about stuff on google or see it on the TV, we can't get it out of our heads and we constantly think "what if" and "the doctor probably missed something". It's a vicious cycle, and unfortunately one I've been stuck in this year. I have been working very hard on my mental health and overcoming this fear, but lately I've struggled a bit with my health anxiety and haven't had much mental energy to focus on my blog. I am perfectly fine, but my brain can't always switch off and I go through stages lasting weeks or even months where I am just a mess. I am working very hard on improving my life and my mind though, through food, exercise and just learning to switch off and get back in touch with my body. I still have a ways to go, but I know that I can overcome this, and I bet you can to!

Moving forward and moving on up in the world, I have many goals for 2018! I have a habit of setting very large and unrealistic goals for myself, but this time I've written a little list of things that I can achieve or am just very determined to achieve:-

GET MARRIEDFor those who don't yet know, I got engaged on the 19th of November! I plan on writing a whole other post on my relationship and how he did it, but for now I'll just tell you that we have set a date, and I have found my dress already - it's beautiful! I can not wait to share this journey with you guys!

This may seem like a very big goal, but this isn't about losing weight or suddenly becoming a gym junkie. The truth of this goal is that I want to take little steps to improve my health. I have already started this journey by going to a yoga class once a week, and I hope to start doing it at home as well. I plan on drinking more water, walking my dogs more, getting some more sun, and just letting my mind and body relax when it needs to. I want to take more baths, go on more adventures, say no more, and let myself indulge every once and a while, because getting healthy includes mental health!

I am a spender. I always pay my bills first, but once that is done I spend the rest of my money on stuff I really don't need. I own about 8 of the same damn shade of lipstick, and we all know that lipstick is not always that cheap. It's perfectly healthy to indulge every now and again, but a very big goal of mine and Sage's is to SAVE SAVE SAVE! We have a wedding to pay for, and we want to have some savings behind us before we start having kids. We plan on setting an amount from each weeks pay and putting it in an account we can't access unless we specifically go in to the bank. If we have to get in the car and drive all the way to the bank just for $5 for a coffee, then there is a very good chance we will just leave it and we can save some money for more important things!

Need I say more? I love you guys, I love the blogging community, and I love blogging. I do struggle greatly with motivation, especially now I'm at uni and working part time, but I know that when I do sit down and start writing that it makes me happy and calm. So I want to be more present in this community and blog more. Luckily I have made some amazing blogger friends who help kick my butt in to gear and encourage my ideas. 

Hopefully 2018 is a better year for us all. What are your goals for the new year?

Merry Christmas and with love, Paige. xx

P.S. If you are struggling with health anxiety or some form of mental illness in general and need somebody to talk to, please know that my email 'withlovepaige@gmail.com' and my twitter DM is always open and checked regularly. 

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